Back to Work

This week was a landmark for me.  I went back to work.  Yes, me, cancer free, in remission but still shaky and a tad worried about life, the universe and everything, went back to work. The experience wasn't pleasant and I am still quite upset about it but I went back to work.  The welcome mat wasn't at the door, 'my' desk had been given to the newest person in the office and contents of 'my' desk had been unceremoniously dumped on my new desk, together with the last nine months of accumulated general dross.  I had been listed on the location board as a 'visitor' and a restructure is underway and guess what - I don't think my job will exist after July!  Oh and I've been taken off the payroll and I'll be paid by cheque!  What fun.

I'm feeling quite p****d off about it but having asked if I should write my hours for next week on the location board in the visitor section, and presented the pile of accumulated dross to my boss to sort out because 'I don't want to throw away anything that might be important and then having the audacity to ask what my role now is; there were one or two embarrassed glances and awkward silences there was something muttered about not wanting to stress me out and they weren't at all sure I'd even show up!  And we'll have a meeting with you soon to discuss what it is you'll be doing.  Hello, I've got a job description and contract and as far as I'm aware I didn't have my brain removed at the same time as my tumour (although us chemo brains do sometimes question this fact).  I just want my job, as it was when I went on sick leave - obviously with some catch up time and support, but my ability to do my job is, hopefully, as good as nine months ago.

Rant, rant and rage.

I'm not in again until Tuesday of next week by which time I'll have calmed down and thought about a strategy to deal with it all.

So much for welcome back it's good to see you!