Good Day

I've just come back from spending a lovely day with the best sister in the world who informed me I'm going to be a Great Aunt - not that I haven't been a fantastic aunt to her two lovely children - but a proper Great Aunt.  This caused us great hilarity as she is going to be a Grandma (hee hee).  She is very vain about how young she looks and it's quite shocking to think she's going to be a Grandma.  I think Granny will suit her best as she is a bit McFee ish or should that be Nanny! It is great to have happy happy news.  Anyway I now have to decide on my official title with this new offspring ......

We enjoyed a lovely walk in the sunshine with Fred who is learning to walk well on his lead - but is still so much of a woss when it comes to other doggy types and then had a very healthy lunch followed by a very unhealthy pudding - but a little bit of what you fancy always does you good.

Hoping to have a weekend in the garden even if it means dodging the showers - it is April after all.

Good News

I had some brilliant news today one of my ovca buddies who I met online, has just been given the all clear after chemo, big op and more chemo.  I am still smiling, smiling, smiling.  Time to enjoy the moment.....

How Rude Can They Get?

Just a quick get it off my chest moment coming up - if you are of weak disposition stop reading now.

Having braved the moment when I removed my wig to show off to the world my newly grown crop of hair why do some people think it's okay to make rude comments about not needing a fiver for a haircut or skinhead or just gawping open mouthed at me!  I haven't done short hair since I was seven and it's certainly not a look I'd choose but bloody chemo leaves you with no choices arghhhhh!

I'm seriously tempted to get a teeshirt printed with I've had Cancer what's your problem?

My husband has witnessed some of this so I know it's not my overactive imagination and is very protective and I'm getting a bit concerned he might actually punch the next person who dares even to look my way!

Perhaps I should train Fred to growl ferociously at the rude ones - now there's a thought.

Holidays

Well, the Easter break is over and we spent a great week in Holland.  The weather was kind to us and as we had decided to go by car and ferry, the travel disruption didn't affect us.

We stayed in Wassenaar, close to lovely sandy beaches, a great swimming pool/outdoor assault course and a mini theme park with some not so mini rides!  We visited Amsterdam and spent a morning looking around the Van Gough Museum which was fascinating, seeing some very famous paintings and indulging a bit of culture.  The afternoon was a little more entertaining with a little tour of the red light district - quite enlightening - and a good look around some of the markets. We also visited the Hague - not a very large town but very interesting with lovely chiming bells that ring out for 15 minutes at 12noon - well worth the visit.  And we also paid homage to the brave men who fought at Arnhem - very moving and a good reminded that so many lives were given to protect our way of life.

Now I've caught up with the washing and housework (yawn yawn) I am enjoying the sunny afternoon.  Fred the springer spaniel puppy - has grown so much over the last couple of weeks and is beginning to display some of the delightful, funny traits of this breed.  He is so pleased to be here, alive and full of life he has the ability to make me smile and leave behind the shadow of cancer that sometimes follows me wherever I go!  One of his favourite tricks is to chase around the garden, zigzagging from side to side, suddenly stop and look quite surprised that we should be laughing at him.  We have a garden pond where he likes to fish out the weed and eat the late frogspawn - yum yum - and no amount of saying NO does any good - like a naughty toddler he goes back time and time again.

Going away was a good thing to do - a return to doing normal things like a normal family.  Enjoying new things in a new country and feeling that I wasn't spoiling the party for anyone.  Last July I honestly thought I'd never enjoy anything every again - I'm so pleased I was wrong.  Letting cancer continue to reek havoc and rule my life is not an option.  It may be a shadow that follows me around but it's not going to block out all the sunshine.

So now onto the next thing - my son's 18th Birthday celebrations.  Hummm how do I keep 30 17/18 year olds happy, not too drunk and myself sane?  Watch this space.

Today I decided it was time to do something to share my experience of life as a cancer survivor.  What an odd phrase that is!  I've always thought of survivors as people who have lived through an earthquake or air disaster. Living through a diagnosis of cancer, the treatment and to reach the other end and be told there is no evidence of disease, to go with the no hair and no energy and earn the title of survivor is quite something.  I hadn't thought of myself as a survivor until someone asked me what it felt like to be a survivor.  I couldn't provide an answer and still can't! It makes me feel sort of odd, embarrassed, pleased and scared all at the same time. But a survivor I am and a record of my return to normality (if ever I was normal or if that state even exists) begins today and I hope that I survive long enough to become the worst sort of mother in law, the best sort of grandma and to grow disgracefully and thankfully old.

My chemo ended just before Christmas 2009 and it's now 1st April (All Fools Day - is there some relevance in the date).  Last month I had my first three month check - No Evidence of Disease and a low CA125 level.and my new title of Cancer Survivor - ta daa.

So now I sit here looking out at the garden with it's freshly cut lawn and frost battered plants, I don't think they will all survive the ravages of the winter weather, a 4 month old springer spaniel puppy chasing sticks around the kitchen and an ever growing list of jobs that I want to do, places I want to visit and people I should write to - people who have shown me a huge amount of kindness and support over the last months and without whom the time would have been very different.  I should also shout at the kids to get out of bed but it is the first day of their Easter break and why shouldn't they have a lie in?  I have ticked the first job off the list and that is creating this blog.

So now I have to get a wiggle on and do some more jobs before it rains.